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Posts Tagged ‘Batavus Droopstoppel’

Hot & Not List #4

In Character Development, Gossip, Uncategorized, What's hot what's not on 18/04/2009 at 19:22

*yawn* I must tell you, my loyal fans, I am getting quite bored of Batavus Droogstoppel droning on and on and on and on about his ideals. The way he speaks to his son, not to mention Frits the hottie, is steadily getting on my nerves…and for that reason he earned not only 1st place on our Hot List, but also 2nd, 3rd and 5th; with Abraham Blankhaart in 4th (but he was inserted, somewhat sarcastically, at the last minute…mainly because my editors did not think it right to single Droogstoppel out SO obviously. Ehem). As for the hottie of the week, that of course goes to our resident German; Fritz! Betsey Rosemeyer sure is one lucky lady! Rawrrrr.

Now, enough of last edition; this time we’re going back to Java (do you see a pattern forming dear reader?)…let’s see what’s been going on in the quaint little town of Lebak…

What’s Hot:

  1. Max Havelaar: Yes dear readers, I have put Mr. Havelaar on top of the Hot List. I know some of you were quite outraged when I placed him at the top of the Not List…but I this has been one of those (rare) occasions where I do in fact see the error of my ways and change my mind…now, Havelaar is on the list for his story about saving the Sumatran girl, Si Upih Keteh, when she fell into the ocean years ago.
  2. Miss Mata-Api: She is, as Verbrugge describes, a hottie; with sparkling eyes (hence her name…for all you non-Indo speakers LOOK IT UP). She ears a place on the hot list for driving the men around her mad with her hotness.
  3. Yours Truly: just because I can 🙂 Unfortunately hot people are scarce these days…and I have enough to fill 20 lists! Might as well spread it around!

What’s Not:

  1. Verbrugge: Telling a story (one sentence long) about a man who stole a turkey? BORRRINNNGGG.
  2. Tina Havelaar: Sneezing? Guh-rosssss! How DARE a woman blow her nose in the presence of men! Ehem…
  3. Miss X: No, my sources have not been able to track down her real name…but even so this English woman lands on the Not List for giving birth to a child…and then losing it. I mean, come on, losing your baby?? How does that happen??
  4. Batavus Droogstoppel: just because. Meh.

Hot & Not List #1

In Character Development, Cultural Context, Gossip on 23/03/2009 at 09:14

Welcome readers to my ‘What’s Hot & What’s Not’ column! Keep your eye on this space as I will be giving you news on everything hot (and not!) happening in Amsterdam and Lebak, Java. Here you will find comments on everything from important events, scandalous affairs, and the little things…all the way down to what a person is wearing. If you enjoy snide comments, a bit of sarcasm, and some sweetness mixed in…keep your eyes pealed 🙂

What’s Hot:

  1. Scarfman- Our poor little writer makes it to the top of the ‘Hot’ list. Points to him for letting his creative juices flow…poems, stories, articles…keep them coming!
  2. The ‘pretty Greek Girl’- She makes it on the list solely for her hotness…anyone who becomes the fantasy of a group of drooling, adolescent boys can be on this list any day!
  3. Frits- Okay, so perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to open up a package addressed to someone else…but he gets points for memorizing 5 pages of verse.
  4. Scarfman’s son- for ignoring all rules of propriety and entertaining us by offending Batavus Droogstoppel in such an amusing way. Keep it up little one!

What’s Not:

  1. Droogstoppel- STEALING Scarfman’s work to write about your coffee trade? Tsk tsk tsk. This hypocritical, self-righteous coffee broker makes it to the top of the ‘Not’ list, how long before he gets what he deserves?
  2. Droogstoppel- Though he has already made it to the top of my ‘Not’ list, he comes in 2nd to himself for running away and letting Scarfman fight his battles for him. Tell us, Droogstoppel, was the pretty Greek girl worth having someone get beaten up?
  3. Scarfman’s jacket- buttoned up to the chin? All the creativity in the world can’t save this man from the fashion police. Sounds like dear Scarfman needs a few lessons on how to dress!