Bali IB DP English

Archive for the ‘What’s hot what’s not’ Category

Hot & Not List #4

In Character Development, Gossip, Uncategorized, What's hot what's not on 18/04/2009 at 19:22

*yawn* I must tell you, my loyal fans, I am getting quite bored of Batavus Droogstoppel droning on and on and on and on about his ideals. The way he speaks to his son, not to mention Frits the hottie, is steadily getting on my nerves…and for that reason he earned not only 1st place on our Hot List, but also 2nd, 3rd and 5th; with Abraham Blankhaart in 4th (but he was inserted, somewhat sarcastically, at the last minute…mainly because my editors did not think it right to single Droogstoppel out SO obviously. Ehem). As for the hottie of the week, that of course goes to our resident German; Fritz! Betsey Rosemeyer sure is one lucky lady! Rawrrrr.

Now, enough of last edition; this time we’re going back to Java (do you see a pattern forming dear reader?)…let’s see what’s been going on in the quaint little town of Lebak…

What’s Hot:

  1. Max Havelaar: Yes dear readers, I have put Mr. Havelaar on top of the Hot List. I know some of you were quite outraged when I placed him at the top of the Not List…but I this has been one of those (rare) occasions where I do in fact see the error of my ways and change my mind…now, Havelaar is on the list for his story about saving the Sumatran girl, Si Upih Keteh, when she fell into the ocean years ago.
  2. Miss Mata-Api: She is, as Verbrugge describes, a hottie; with sparkling eyes (hence her name…for all you non-Indo speakers LOOK IT UP). She ears a place on the hot list for driving the men around her mad with her hotness.
  3. Yours Truly: just because I can 🙂 Unfortunately hot people are scarce these days…and I have enough to fill 20 lists! Might as well spread it around!

What’s Not:

  1. Verbrugge: Telling a story (one sentence long) about a man who stole a turkey? BORRRINNNGGG.
  2. Tina Havelaar: Sneezing? Guh-rosssss! How DARE a woman blow her nose in the presence of men! Ehem…
  3. Miss X: No, my sources have not been able to track down her real name…but even so this English woman lands on the Not List for giving birth to a child…and then losing it. I mean, come on, losing your baby?? How does that happen??
  4. Batavus Droogstoppel: just because. Meh.

Hot & Not List #3

In Character Development, Gossip, Uncategorized, What's hot what's not on 15/04/2009 at 10:51

As I promised in the last edition of The List, I am keeping a close eye on the happenings in Java and Amsterdam 🙂

So to recap, last edition’s top of the hot list was the position of the Assistant Regent of Java; for the amount of responsibility it holds…as for our ‘not’ section, the top of the list went to Max Havalaar, for the simple reason that he isn’t as hot as a person the book is named after should be! I’ve received some mail from some you more um, opinionated readers, and though I admit this decision was quite a shallow one, but I stand by it. So if you don’t like it, TOUGH.

In this weeks edition we are shifting gears (again) and going back to Amsterdam…Is Droogstoppel still not hot? Is Scarfman’s creativity enough to keep him on the top of the Hot? Let us see…

What’s Hot:

  1. Frits: Our German hottie is at the top of the list  Not only has he hooked up with the beautiful Betsey Rosemeyer, made Marie giggle, and has been‘pulling the maid’s skirt when she brings the tea’, but he’s also got Droogstoppel’s (37 Lauriergracht!) panties in a bunch. He has also defended the Javanese in relation to their religious choices; there’s nothing more attractive then a man with romantic and moral notions…and the will to stand up for what is right! So though he is an annoyance in the eyes of the esteemed (meh) coffee broker, he is a great source of entertainment. Keep it up my friend!
  2. Stern: He is on the list for winning the affections of Louis Rosemeyer and for being a nuisance to his father…keep those headaches coming 🙂

What’s Not:

  1. Batavus Droogstoppel: For being annoying. No elaboration is necessary.
  2. Batavus Droogstoppel
  3. Batavus Droogstoppel
  4. Abraham Blankaart: On the list for being, as Droogstoppel said, ‘much too Dutch for a German’…OH DEAR.
  5. Batavus Droogstoppel

Hot & Not List # 2

In Character Development, Gossip, What's hot what's not on 13/04/2009 at 09:38

To my avid readers, I owe you an apology. It has been quite a while since my last post and you are no doubt experiencing some symptoms of withdrawal. I’ve been on holiday and unfortunately haven’t quite kept an eye on the hotness (and not-ness) happening in Amsterdam and Java…well I DID happen to go to Java to meet some of my colleagues in the world of gossip gurus, but i was having way too much fun to pay attention to the characters of Max Havalaar 😦 But I assure you, my loyal fans, that I am back; more deliciously vicious and critical than ever!
So to re-cap, the top of last edition’s hot list is Scarfman, our poor little writer. His creativity has made him the apple of everyone’s eye…but is his 15 minutes of fame over? Hmm, guess we’ll have to see.
Oh, and as for the most un-hot person of that week, that honor went to none other than Batavus Droopstoppel (37 Lauriergracht!). This coffee broker earned the top 2 places on the not list for not only letting Scarfman fight his battles for him, but also stealing his work many years later. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Readers, I’m afraid we’re switching gears in this edition of the Hot/Not list. We’re moving on from the people of Amsterdam and to the happenings in Java…but rest assured, we shall be visiting the much loved (and hated) Dutch characters in the future.
I give you, the hot and not people of Lebak, Java:

What’s Hot:

  1. Assistant Regent of Java: This is not so much a person, but rather a position in the Javanese government. Now, I do not claim to have extensive knowledge of Java’s extremely complex political system, but I do know that for some strange reason, the inferior is in charge of the superior. Basically, though he is thought to be the Regent’s lesser, the Assistant Regent is the one really in control. I may not be a fan of politics (yawn), but I do appreciate hard work and responsibility. So kudos to whoever holds the position of the Assistant Regent of Java.
  2. Regent of Java: Again, this is a position, not the person in the position…Now, you may ask why the actual Regent himself is not at the top of the list, but like I said above the Assistant has got the power. The Regent however, is still worthy of this list and he gets 2nd place for representing and speaking in the name of the hundred thousand or more souls that form the population of his Regency. Yay 🙂
  3. Controleur Verbrugge: The first actual person to make in on this edition of the Hot list…he is a ‘good man; cordial, hospitable, informative…blah blah blah. In short, he’s a pretty cool guy so for that reason he earns 3rd place on the list.
  4. Mrs. Havalaar: Though not ‘beautiful’ she makes it on to the list for her other qualities. Her caring nature (particularly towards her children), manners and her generally sweet demeanor reminds us that looks aren’t everything!

What’s Not:

  1. Max Havalaar: You’d expect the person the novel is named after to be hot…but Mr. Havalaar simply isn’t. What a disappointment :(. He is described as being a man of 35 and unremarkable. Ugh. Okay, so I said above looks aren’t everything, and I do mean it dear reader, but there is only so much niceness one list can have! So sorry, Mr Havalaar you are this week’s most un-hot person.
  2. Strangers of the West: Okay so this is not an actually person…but the Europeans who have come to Java have made themselves lords of the land and use it to grow products which have a greater profit back in Europe. Tsk tsk tsk.
  3. Mrs. Slottering: Described as a ‘native’ woman. Now I don’t know exactly what that implies about her personality…but it doesn’t sound very good. Also, the woman can only speak Malay so she gets number 3 for not getting with the program and expanding her vocabulary!
  4. The Great Lord at Buitenzorg: I don’t know much about him but Havalaar describes him as being a man unable to see where injustice is done. Though I can be very shallow and judgmental at times something I do really hate is injustice. So the “Great Lord’ makes it on the Not list for letting injustice happen under his rulership.